tic tic tic

Matt will be here in 11 hrs!!!!

Home for the Holidays

Abby and I are in California and we are having a blast!!

We are sooo excited for Matt to come and join us for Disneyland.. and the beach oh and N.Y. Eve date night Were just plain smitten over that man!!!! =)
We are a little sad the weather is not a bit warmer but we are still in our flips flops!!
Today I need to run out and do a little bit of shopping ( Santa)but we are good.. Our family adults are not exchanging this year. Its kind of nice to tell the truth

Need to run but I love being Home for the Holidays.. You can take the girl out of California but never the California out of the girl!!

highlights

Well I have so much to say let me give you the Highlights

Went to meet a boy I thought was "nice"
Had a good time, but was glad to come home
Had a few days of "whoooo is me" But knew someone else was out there
Decided to look one more time..

Man I'm so glad I did

Found Matthew
Talked to Matthew
Spent time with Matthew ( he came for a visit)
Broke down and joined Face book for Matthew
Spending New Years with Matthew ( he is flying out to CA just to take me to dinner and Disneyland)
Spending a lot more time with Matthew in January (he canceled a cruise to spend time with Abby and I)
Meeting his three fabulous kids in January

Yep I'm totally smitten with Matthew and I love it

Oh this is going to be a BIG year in my life (he he he)

O when did this happen ??

OK this is adult conversation it you cant handle talk about boobs leave now!!

Tonight I was putting Abby to bed and as we we laying there for the night time cuddle she says this

Abby "Meme how come at night time you breast go away"

Me "What honey? Your breast don't go away"

Abby "ya Meme look when you lay down they go away"

Me (looking down as my breast as I lay on my back) GASP!! "THERE GONE"

Abby "You should wear your pillow bra when you sleep to"

Me "When did this happen"

Abby "Along time ago"

WAAAA WAAA WAAAA

I never really noticed before but there gone !! When I'm up right there still there (36 c) but on my back there COMPLETELY GONE ...

I guess when I lost some weight they were lost too. OH well at least I got them when I'm up right!! ( with my pillow bra)

So here is my question would any of you ever consider any plastic surgery to refresh or enhance your self!! If money was not object??

I don't know if I would but after tonight I would like a little bit of my old boobs back!!

Life is good

Just checking in...

Life is good... Were good.. Just living a nice life......

Change happens all the time, sometimes when you least expect it, good change is fun and exciting.... its the BEST....The fun part is trudging alone a new path to discover whats down it!! And realizing some things about your self good or bad... maybe discovering some things you thought you lost forever or re-find-ing some things from the past that were missing. Life is good I'm going to go live it...

Getting Some Culture

Its really important to me that Abby get to experience some "cultural events" in her life. I grow up with very little but my Mom always make sure we learned about Fine arts , Music, Theater etc... and how to behave in each place.. SO when the opportunity came up to take Abby to the Forth Worth Symphony I was all over it. Our friend Jacquelin who is in or ward is a violinist with the symphony so tonight we went to check it and her out.

We had a BLAST!! Abby did not want to leave Its was only about 1 hour long perfect length..

This is Abby's observation

Is that a dog??? I hear dogs (bass drums)

Hey this song was on "Little Einstein"

"They sit really quiet when it's not their turn....."

As we left Forth Worth there was a Rock and Roll band playing at a festival across the street of the Performance Hall.... I said 'Wow you have heard lots of music tonight Abby!!

Her sweet tired reply "Ya meme but fancy music makes me fell good"

LOVE HER

My Saturday morning as a grown up
Abby's Saturday with her little Buddie "M"
Oh all the dress up for the Dollies and the Build a Bears

I'm getting it

It has been one year of official single -hood

A big thank you for all the friends & family who listen to me Cry, Wine, Vent, and Ramble I promise this year will not be as bad!

They say the "First is the worst". The first of everything new.. First Christmas without, first splitting up of time on Holidays, Birthday and so on. But I (we) made it. I am SO proud of Abby!! She has done well. I think for her the hardest time was in the beginning after we moved and recently. Garth was in Canada for awhile and she really missed him and the whole Utah family trip made her really sad. But she is a trooper and at this point I'm pretty honest with her. About my limits as a single mom and about about Garth's ( not those details she is to young ) limits. The main thing is I am committed to raising a healthy kid who learns resilients young... bit by bit. Garth and I are committed to do the best for her, and most of the time we are on the same page. I am thankful for that!!!

This year will be full of new things for her. Abby will be meeting Garth's new wife Angie and stepdaughter Nicole. Angie and Nicole still live in Canada but I believe will be moving here sometime in the next year..

So good for us I have to say. Abby is off to spend some time with Garth and I am playing "get it all done in 32 hours" ( she will be back tomorrow night)..

So I'm off:

To Goodwill, I have stuck to my promise something in this house something out. I hate clutter and things out of their home!!!

Pick up stuff at the alteration man

Bank

Make cookies for my lesson at church on Temple Marriage :0) how convenient

Study predicts possibilities for Statistics

Dinner with a school Friend

oh and the other Saturday stuff

My love to all thanks or your help.... Oh and By the way I found myself realizing something the other day. What it was is not very important, but what is important ...

It was a big growth moment the ones when we smile at our self and say "Good job your getting it" I hope to have many more in the year to come

I'm getting IT!!! I made it!!

The ranch

OK here is a preview of me and Abby's trip to "The Ranch" a super B.F. invited us to go spend a little time at her families home while we were in Utah this summer (OK It was just last month) Anyway I will post more but I need more time Stop the yelling..

This is Abby doing a back flip off the step of the pool.. Ya people your looking at a pool on top of a HUGE mountain in Utah. Its an infinity pool so you feel like your going to fall off. It was such a nice trip Were else do you see Lambs eating a house, real Chipmunks (non talking ones) Horses, run from a Hot tub, Pool,Trampoline, and your very own park..It was like Utah adventure land

I knew she was smart

Today while talking to Abby about the Health Care issues in terms she can understand it. ( I am a prime example of the working class that pays private insurance that is HORRIBLE AND IS SOOO EXPENSIVE) She had the answer.. "Meme you should have you pay what you can with your job monies.. you know like you can pay $1:99" Love it.

Its hard to know what to do with the health care mess. I see it from so many points
1)My own situation going from great insurance to HORRIBLE and NOT but my choice. I did not chose to change or loss my coverage.. I have the same job live in the same place... and I am the sole head of Household.. I need to be healthy
2) Watching my mom deal with disability and soon Medicare she takes 15 Rx a day
3) Watching and dealing with the medical office insurance payments.
4) Being (soon) a medical professional.

I always get a sick feeling when I hear that people can get tummy tuck because they don't like the C section scare they got when THEY decided to have the C section in the first place.. Or Having to spend $300 on Asthma RX a month... Or having to watch the amount of medicine you give so you can stretch out the RX so you don't have to pay another Co-Pay.. No child or Adult should ever have to go with out affordable, competent timely medical coverage....
I do not have the right answer I do not think anyone does...But something must be done.

PS: DO you know that the only free insurance coverage I can get is Birth Control we all know how funny that is

grrr

grrr.... Drat, Come on, What ever, You suck, we are you priorities, brat, huff, so I pick up the pieces once again, I need ???, How do you chat on line?? A bag of chips in a week ( so not like me) Nightmares of Aliens and the wall turning into a computer!... Back ache, lazy-ness of others, Homework for 2,5,8, grades and collage is not fun, flabby arms..,WHAT is for dinner, Miss my family..,

How is your morning

We made it

We made it the first week was super. We were tired but we made it... Abby seems to be making some new friends. Homework has started and the goal of 7:30 bed time as well. Most night we get it all done..if not there is always another day

Update... and things that make you go ha?...

No tears!! We both made it. ( I have not picked her up yet) I did get little chocked up while dropping her off in the classroom but I sucked it all UP. She was very glad the teacher needed a helper to pass out some pencils, Abby of course was very willing to help.

I had a good day in Statistics maybe because we only went over the syllabus, but still It was a good start.

I had the strangest reaction while in the Library printing out the class note.. I had a rush of panic and anxiety. It took me a second to realize where it was coming from. It was the knowledge that for two of my hardest semester while I studied until 10pm in the library twice a week, Garth was was using that time to have his affair with Angie. Odd ha? It has been almost two years since I caught him, but man it hit me out of the blue. Oh well I was able to quickly put it into prospective of the trail and move on. It fascinating what emotion your brain can bring up at any given moment. Two years ago for months my life was a anxiety/panic attack 24/7.... Man I have come so far...but always reaching forward to be a little better...

PS: What today's incident proved to me was I ''may" never get over the betrayal of my husband having a affair right under my nose for over a year, but what I can do is deal with the pain little by little and continue to move on to a better place. I have some really good friends and family to thank for all there help...What would I have done with out you??

Let me just have a bragging moment

OK Its 7:43 pm the Night before Abby starts Second grade, Let me just tell you how good she is

1) She is out like a light she has been out about 15 min.

2) Once she is asleep I can have the door open, light on in the room and I can watch TV and she will stay asleep. This is a mandatory thing since we share a room

3) She picked/set out her cloths for the first day. Now this is not one of the few new outfits I got her for the new school year. This outfits includes white carpi's purchased this summer and a black and white geometrical shirt that is a hand me down from her cousin Sara and Hannah. This shirt will "help me remember my family at school". Look for the pic tomorrow.

4) She brushed out her hair!! so in the morning it won't be an "angry mess" and we can get to school quickly so she can help her little friend, who is a friend from church but will be new to her school this year.

She is just the best girl ever!! Is she personally excited to go back to school ?? No not really. When we were driving home from church she commented how everyday kept asking her about school, she would much rather stay home with me. ;0) Its just "Abby" to be prepared and ready to to do what is asked of her.

As for the sleeping thing she is seven and I still credit BABY WISE all the way.. She is just a good sleeper

Now I start school tomorrow as well... I will be crying the whole way up to school and pout the whole time in class!! and want my Mommy

New York at a glance

OK I hope it works I'm so not Blogger proficient.. Please ignore all type-o-s.. I had a great time My Aunt Kathleen was the perfect travel partner.. We just went by the seat of our pants ( OK that is a lie. I had done a lot of research but I was still care free). It was great. We packed as much in as we could even taking in a second Broadway show "Mary Poppins" We had so much fun and we WALKED and WALKED I lost 2 lbs and we ate pretty well. Not as much as I would have thought, but we had fun. It was fun to see my friend Kim. It was fun to be me just me!!

Check back and I will have the second part of travel week 2009 when I took Abby to see Garth's family..

back to the real world

I'm back

I know you all want the scoop of my fantastic fun filled week.

Late nights in New York with my Aunt Kathleen who is a great travel partner, . We saw "Wicked" with Oprah and Gail, "Mary Poppins" while eating the new Peanut butter and Jelly M&Ms. (the best treat ever)
We had dinner and Max Brenner's the MOST amazing chocolate restaurant ever (thanks Lorena and Rob )...

Than Seeing to the most amazing scenery I have seen in a long time at a friends family home in Utah. To nieces and nephews galore. I fell like I have not seen Abby in a week. A good time was had by all. It was a fabulous trip some realization came to fruition, which is always hard, but that's part of life.

I will post pics later I have a new camera so now I have to figure out how to up load them (Roch. any pointers)

Its good to be back !! Although Abby fell asleep in tears last night missing her cousins and out of pure exhaustion.
School starts in a few days for work kids and next Monday for Abby and I... ahh life its grand

I heart NY

OK I have been here 4 hours and I love it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!More to come

I'm off

5:35 am I'm off to the Big Apple yippie for me

I'm so tired went to bed at 12:30 talking to a BOY!!!! for 3 hours ( some of you know who.............).

More later.....

I can DO it

7 Days to go!! I will make it

So here is my check list you wanna see ? ( if not that's OK too) this was the last few days

1) Get work kids ready for school and summer vacation to Mexico which is the same week as my vacation. The the week before I'm insane!! wait that this week aggg. This includes going to 4 different stores for supplies and 3 different for uniforms. Private schools can be ridiculous CHECK
2) Get Abby ready for school and her vacation ( our budget is gone with our vacations so school shopping this year was pretty easy just a few things but still $$ and time) CHECK
3) Register myself for Statistics class pay the 200.00 registration fee and barf at the price of books CHECK
4) Plan re plan and double check all our plans. I will come home from "My vacation" and leave again 10 hours later( I might need to use those nighttime hours to sleep we will see) with Abby to go see Garth's parents ( It will be a memory Abby will cherish forever she loves her family.) Besides I'm going to the "Ranch" with my buddy. It will be blast. I'm even going to try "Cafe Rio" I will have fun too. (Roch PLEASE TRY HARD)CHECK
5) Pack and than rethink hum rethink..( I don't want to pay for baggage I have my own lol)CHECK
6) Think about all the things that could go wrongCHECK ( Garth will have Abby so she will be fine and have fun while I'm away but still all the Lifetime movies pop into my head)
7) Be so excited that I'm going on a trip to New York!! On a girls trip with grown ups who are up for anything. D.Y.K The best time to do Empire is like midnight!!CHECK
8) Research the best places to eat within a budget of NORMAL folks CHECK
9) Discover that your daughter has lost (misplaced for a long time) all her Nintendo DS games value 200.00. They will not be replaced anytime soon CHECK
10) Pick up a map and a book about New York at 1/2 Price books ( who cares if there a few years old its still the same) CHECK
11) Brave WALMART on a SATURDAY to pick up the last few "things" before the tripsCHECK 12) Arrange 4 trips to the airport ( This is not that bad I live 15 min from one.. but still I hate to ask) CHECK

Well that was my list ( I edited the boring stuff like clean house, do laundry, drive kids every were, pay bills, be a single mom, help my mom...try to be a friend, try to take Rx for my new "Acid reflex" problem.. bla bla bla)

This weeks list is not bad I want to go stress free..SO I'm just about there I will pack later in the week for myself.. Abby, well she is already packed go to Utah! She did that the day she found out we were going..lol I'm out

The Perp..

The Perpetrator

My Survival basket

My Survival basket

OK SO this weekend was good FUN sleep over on Friday night, Saturday U bounce with Abby and a friend on Saturday followed with lunch and a few errands.. All was good until Abby said her ear hurt. I really think its swimmers ear from allot of swimming. We were up until 10:30 letting the Motrin set in.

Sunday am. I let her sleep until 930 am so ya missed church but that's OK sometimes it happens. Than it happened (please refer to the previous pic of the "CAN") At first I thought Backfire from a car, car accident, our upstairs neighbor who is the loudest lady ever, hum. Well I decided to see if something fell from the pantry. No all clear. Than it hit me the fridge.

CRAP It was a can of my mom's diet Dr. Pepper. I had bought some ice cream treats for the sleepover and turned down the temp in the fridge well since its a suck apartment appliance it makes everything to cold even the fridge. It was a mess. Beyond mess. So I had to take it all apart and clean it.. By the way since I was going to be home I also had like 10 min. before took apart my stove to clean so I had a mess. It was lunch time Abby needed more Motrin my heartburn was acting up ( I just found out Friday at the Dr office I have reflex caused by stress, antacids and Xanax should fix it or ya I could take a stress management class. like I have time ) I did what I could. Popped an antacid which I forgot this morning, gave Abby Motrin and put some alcohol in her ear. Ate a 100 pack of cookies I had not eaten all day and told my self to wait for 20 min to see if I needed the RX ( I did not thanks you very much I can deal with messes) I don't like messes but especially any kind of kitchen mess. Thee are a few things that I must have one of them is a very clean kitchen especially a fridge and stove so ya that my Sunday morning

All is well Abby is felling better. The antacid is working and the kitchen is all clean

Thanks to the miracle of the yellow super towel from Costco and Clorox kitchen cleaner..Humm I think I will go grab a pack of cookie

How do moms with lots of Kids Do it?

We had a fun night on Friday our friends the "5C" kids came over for a sleepover, complete with pizza, Ice Cream and a last min. dip in the pool with cloths on..All the kids had a blast This was Abby's first/only sleepover ( we don't do them but this was special one with a need involved so why not)

But I kept thinking the whole night especially at the pool "6 count six kids" my eyes we tired from scanning the faces and counting Big three, Abby, A and little L. It was a very fun night.

Putting on my big Girl Panties

OK decision made. I'm a adult it will be "fine" and "super". Sometimes you do things for the good of the one you love it may mean you take the rough and bumpy road, but once there it all works out. Ah I'm glad that is off my plate on to the next...( Thanks Deeann for the word of reason..)

Any body have a Ideas of the BEST things to do in New York City?? I'm going in a few weeks and want to fit as much in as I can. I lived for for 6 months so I have done allot of the staples but I'm looking for fun places to eat, shop and stuff like that.. Oh ya I'm going to see Wicked (na nan na)

Pickle

What to do
Ever have a time when your in a big pickle. The choice you make will not Kill, or Mane anyone but its still hard to deal with both outcomes. What do you do. Yes I know pray, make list but what if that still leaves you in a stupor. I have learned that "When in Stupor DO Not do anything" But this things is driving me CRAZY !! I have been having such a stressful reaction to it. I need to make up my mind soon or it will be to late. I have the added pressure to a dead-line.

It will not cause death ....
It will make one person happy ( for the time being)
It will cause one Pain, and bring up a whole lot of stuff they would like to move forward from.
This pickle is not caused by me but others and there choices but still I'm the adult and Have to deal with it.
I just don't know what to do. No one can tell me what to do! Nobody has been in this place before (that I know of) Disappointment will come from either choice I make, that is sad to me ... I know life is all about disappointment I get that.. But all this is not by my choosing I'm stuck, Trapped, Screwed!

On a Happy note My favorite jeans were miss marked and I got them for 14:99$ Not the 39:99$ Yay for me sad for Macy's

Summer id fun-er for grow ups

No much going on yippee for me. Today I found myself BORD at work ..That is a good thing.

Some highlights

From Amanda 10 "Well I just think Kristen and Rob should just give it up!! Get together, she should leave that old boyfriend alone and move on" It took me awhile to get she was taking about the Twilight gang ( no she has not seen the movie??)

From Drew 14 "You know its hard to be in a car for 10 hours (rode trip for baseball) I only have a PSP, an I touch, and a Nintendo dS.. Its so boring" My response was well "Drew I only had a color books and some paper and a few books" With the kindest sincere smile Drew said "I know being born in the 80's must have been hard" I love him .... He really is a good kid and from what got he did not complain one bit on the road trip.

From Abby 7 "Summer time is fun-er for grown ups You get to get us ready for the pool with sunscreen and towels and snacks, take us to the park, water park, you get to play games with us ALL day, and make us food all day, you even get to help me with crafts,, when we are at school you just get to wait for us to come home..". ( it all about your perception I guess)

So there you are relationship advise, anti aging, its all summed up Summer is "fun-er" for grown ups..

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. "

Elisabeth Foley

Dear Kim
Babies, Adoption, Calling, Dinners, Moving, Divorce, Employment, Children, School, Fiber, Organic, Love o Jeans, Families, Teachers, Room Moms, G.N.O, Shopping Deals, Baby Showers galore, Surgeries, Health Insurance, Ward Boundaries, Travel, Blogs, Twilight ,Trash I was so wrong), Hand me downs, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Halloween, Birthdays!!, Dr. Han, Others, Antibacterial soap, Sick Children, Easygoing, People not understanding why were BF, Deaths, Morning sickness, Finalization of Divorce Court dates breakfast, Lemon Berry Cream Slush, Del Frisco, The "carrot" at Bobs, Fish, Peppers red green and yellow,Freak outs, Disappointment, Faith, Heartache, Joy, Truth, T- Mobil Sisterhood, Car Seats, Tears o so many tears, But most of all even with all these words The best word I can us is LOVE and unshakable trust and devotion

I love you!! I will miss you and your family so much. Over the past 2 years you have NO Idea how much you have help me get through "many of day" when I thought I could no longer go on. Sometimes I don't think you ever knew the pain I just needed to be me just me....The person I was before, maybe you did know but you let me "pretend" just for a little bit. Over the past 10 years we have been though ALLOT our vault is full but always ready for me..

Just remember the advice we got on our first day in R.S. together "There out there waiting" Well come to think of it SHE WAS RIGHT goodness lol

ahhh It nice to be OK..

So here is whats going on:
ALL the kids are out of school so I got 14, 10 and 7. The big two have All kinds of sports things going on but its good. Abby is used to waiting for the lesson to be over ( we got crafts and DS's) I figure it's no different if she had "Biological" siblings right! Now we call them "work" sibling I'm starting my 5th year there so ya listen to the rifts they get into there family all right.

Abby and I are enjoying the EASY nights of summer No more "homework" and dinners are a little bit lighter and easy for some reason. I extended her bedtime to a whopping 8:00 so at around 7:45 the wind down starts it nice to have her just the extra 30 minuets at night. I really do enjoy her company. I have found myself on my walks at 6:30 am wishing she was with me to tell her or point something out to her. We have always been close but she was always a Daddy's girl. However that has changed over the last year I guess its just par for the course of Divorce.

She is really growing up. Do you all remember your fascination with purses and bags and things to put things in ? Well every morning now it "What bag or purse or wallet should I use today"? Its fun to be a girl.... and having THINGS !

So that's about it so far were cooking up some sweet treats, swimming, crafting, watching the Jetson"s (Elroy my fav..) on TV during lunch. Just having a fun summer.. Wait this is our second day ahh fun times fun times Give us a call we love to HANG

Can you believe I have been in my new little Home for a year. The fact is I'm happy Abby's happy we live a good, Christ centred life, We are faithful, We are in this together, Bad things happen, bad days occur but WE GOT THIS!! She and I ( its taken a long time for me to BELIEVE IT)Tonight I turned on the TV to record some "evening" show and I got Charlie Gibson leaving his ending statement. For some reason its hit a cord with me.. It was a simple statement nothing to wordy Just

Moms don't give up

Some of My girl Posse( Audry, Deeann. Me, Kim)

Happy Birthday to me !! I have had (having) a fabulous weekend

Here is the run down

Friday: Abby had Volley ball and really did well, dinner we went to Jason's Deli!! Yummy

Saturday:(1) I hosted Baby Shower for my friend, (2)Our Apartment complex had a Salsa "off" I won second after a first place tie the spicy won. I used a fruit salsa that was so good.. (3)Than My friend Kim put together a little surprise dinner and movie night( OK Kim's birthday is like 2 days before mine and how she got out of it I don't know) . It was so much fun to hang with some of my girls, who I love so much and I truly cherish there great friendships

Sunday: TON'S of well wishes at church. I made a yummy dinner and everybody like it. Got ton's more well wishes phone calls from friends and family. Abby gave me some super special gifts. It nice to know people care. Happy "we share a birthday" to Stephanie who was out of town

Monday (today) We have been to a church breakfast, bounce house, scooter riding event and made some care packages for the soldiers. Soon we will take off to the Movies to see Night at the Museum, than have lunch complements to the gift card I won at the Salsa -off, ice cream at Cold Stone compliments of my in laws for my birthday... I have hit the mother load this weekend.

As a kid we never did the birthday thing for a lot of reason, but as a adult I always do "birthday weekends" In the past its been fun Garth's Birthday is just a few days past 4th of July so it was a big party for him.... mine is Memorial weekend so there you go. My moms is Mothers day weekend.... and Abby well she is a kid she uses a whole week to celebrate lol

Thanks to everyday for sharing my weekend. I love you all I will post some pics later and review the movie, lunch and later

Review: Movie was good but not as good as the first one Amy Adams "Amalia Earhart" is really good.. I'm glad we only paid 5$ to get in.. It was fine

Lunch was 4.25$, but since out fajita were really chewy the nice manager offered us a "To go" quesadilla ( I used my birthday club to get the free Case-o and 5 $ off Fajitas) When I got home I discovered we have TWO deluxe Quesadilla with all the sides and free Case-o and chips man we had Tin Star for dinner too

******************SWEET NESSY**********

We also added swimming to our day: I will have to post later on that but let me leave you with this: Really you feel the need to bring like 4 six packs....A 2 week old baby...and smoke like a chimney at 4:30 in the afternoon CLASS real CLASS... We cut the swimming real short. Everybody was "nice" and said "hi" and offed me a "drink" but come on Don't you all have to work tomorrow oh ya that's right lady you do work!!!! in a Elementary school as a kindergarten TEACHER oh brother

With all that I will say this Birthday will go down as one of my top 5 yippee for me

Abby and her lovely teacher Ms. Popp Abby really loves her. I think she cool to lol.

This is "The Girls" at Abby's night at school for Student of the month. Nice hair color progression Ha

Abby was student of the Month.. I am constantly amazed by her
I love you Abby Congratulation Sweet thing

Im scared

OK we all know I love Gray Anatomy Seriously I do

So tonight like every other Thursday night, the tears roll. Why I just love the writing. For some reason the writing this season has been tailored made for me ( OK not me but you know). Tonight my favorite line came from Baily " Of course he's (I'm) scared Look around)

I feel like that, truly scared. Through this whole ordeal I'm living. I know that's were some of my "anger" and "sadness" comes from. Its just I'm scared to death to trust myself and other close around me. I have this felling like nobody has my back. I get smacked on the side of the head out of the blue. When I discover some new lie or find out some pretty important information months after the fact. It literally takes my breath away. I panic that the firm foundation's I have or trying to build for Abby and I is being taken away again!!

Living in fear is not OK How do I stop it, fix it...The fear feeds itself to breeds more fear because than I fell like "I will always feel this way".. I know I'm in control of my own feelings and I have to take ownership of them.. BLA BLA BLA....But when someone lies to you to your face for over a year, when your made to fell disposable and worthless even as the mother to your child..when your so de-valued, you don't get common courtesy, its HARD AND SCARY. So ya I'm scared when I just look around

Tomorrow is a new day!!! You don't know how grateful I am for that.

Are you sinking or swimming

Life should not be about " Sink or Swim"!

Life is like swim lessons.
Sometimes you sink, but eventually you figure it out.
You make it to the other side with out swallowing and choking to death from the water. I'm so glad I enrolled in the class

OK so how cute is she.. I just got the pictures back that Abby and I had taken while we were in California.. So here is my favorite of the two of us together. There are several reasons why THIS one. This is how she HUGS me... full on, No holding back. I love that her smile is full of teeth that are under construction. ( I love my smile 5 years in braces paid off). I love my laugh lines. I love our squished cheeks. I love that it captures how Happy we are..And how much we love each other... More to come later

Go Away little piggy

No school next week.
Abby's is out on a Swine Vacay !!!!!
Our Summer is starting Early yippee

A new Dress for a me and Lois !!

Look like we both likes the same Easter Dress lol We were like twins for the day.. ( OK I look so short we both had on little heels )

New Easter Dress for me me me me

Do you know what for the past 14 years I have never had a new Easter outfit.. Oh Abby always had something new, but I never made myself the priority to get something.

BUT GUESS WHAT "I" "me" "Lisa davis-Murray" "meme" "Momma" "Mommy" got a new dress and it feels really good.

It is something so simple. Do I do thing for myself Sure, we all need to or we become one of "those Moms" who use a pool of excuses of why they are so miserable. The things we do not ever need to cost anything it's just something for us. The point is.... Its a cheap little dress but I fell like It's worth a million

We have a fun time in California We were blessed to stay with my Aunt Kathleen and her family ( Abby fell in LOVE with her 3 kitties). My family has been very supportive during my divorce. (you know what the say about times of trial....) It was fun to see them and spend time with them, reconnect to my roots despite how crazy they can (are) be.. We were very busy though!! but why not right ?? Sleep is for home, parties are for fun and families and friends.

We ate Sushi, shopped and saw a movie with my grandmother
Had some pictures taken at the beach a long time goal of mine( Stay tuned)
Went to California Adventure
Disneyland
Downtown Disneyland
Saw my 2 brothers and there families
Ate ate ate ( yummy Mexican)
Dinner with my family
Took the Amtrak train to San Juan Capistrano for the day
Had a FUN FUN day with Rochell and her family husband Adam, Tori and Baby Zack who are the sweetest thing ever. Abby loves the beach and her cousins. I loved the company and the yummy yogurt. ( Rochell is Garth sister who has become one of my best friends I love her dearly)
Saw the Bukaty's ( A family I worked with for 4 years before I moved to TX)
Ate ate ate
The final big deal was We made 1600.00 in American dollars for future trips

We had a blast Thanks to all for there time!! I miss California I would assume I will be back there one day. When I don't know, some days its sooner than later. I will just let the cards fall will they will, and than decide what to do. I do want Abby to grow up with family around She loves her cousins there and maybe I can convince Rochell to rent us one of the Apartments she manages on the beach!! Than all you TX peeps can come out

What is the best thing about Disneyland to a 7 year old "COTTON CANDY" luckily her Auntie Kathleen was there to help her out with it

My grandfather "Pop" with Abby Every time we are home we get a pic like this Man she is getting big

Abby Myself and My Grandmother "Betty" at Sushi. Abby favorite is the fries see weed lol

Abby feeding the "rodents" at the CUTES little petting zoo in California

Abby and Minnie

Abby and Minnie Mouse Love all the poka dots

Crazy Girls

OK Having Blogger (I mean user Problems But here is a start)
This is my cousin Alania, who we love dearly and Abby calls "That Girl" She was a super Disneyland pal.

Score

UPDATE

We scored!!!

We had the chance to make 1000.00 in flight $$ on Sunday and we took it. So we made 1600.00 yay for us Now were are we to go?? One trip to see cousins in Utah for sure other than that HUMMM lol It was hard to get up after going to bed at 11pm on Sunday but it was well worth it

PS I have pics to post but I'm swamped at work and school

Love her !!!!This was taken at Disneyland

One more day

OK so for 600.00$ in travel vouchers would you stay in California for a few more hours. We got bumped I guess ? They asked for volunteers and we did it so were her till Sunday night.

We are out of Here!!

After months of being quiet and talking in "Code" Abby and I are going on our first "Meme and Me" trip

I am whisking her off to So. Cal for a sweet spring break. The best part is she has NO clue!! Has she seen the Hotwire papers up on the fridge? Yep!! (But she also knows that my blow dryer is on the blink SO if your a new 7 year old you accept the reason " its the wires in the blow dryer information") there nothing like sweet timing..
There are 5 peeps she has just about daily contact with that are either going to Disneyland or Disneyworld this spring break including her new BFF from church and school. And let us not forget my work family left TODAY for Disneyland so the poor this has been pelted with the idea she is not going...ANYWHERE

I have saved and saved.. said no we don't have the $$ to many of things, wiped out the VISA, bit the bullet and by GOLLY We are out of HERE...

Humm it's Saturday night at 9pm do you think she knows anything?? I mean come on our flight is at 8:45 am SHE KNOWS NATA. My very creative mom has devised a fun scavenger hunt to let the cat out of the bag. She is a creature of habit she will wake at oh 630 ask to go watch TV and the hunt will start.. Ya I know we need to leave at 645 but we can do it...We have a ton of things planned but the best thing I have planned is to spend time enjoying her!! and seeing our family I have not been home for a while. This is a first trip back as me a single mom going back to my roots to see all that is dear. Lets not forget I am a California girl at heart!!

Wish me luck

Best part of your day

We all have parts in our day we really do not like much, it can be a wide range of activities, the daily chores, work, school we all have them.
However we all have parts of our day we love!
Whats yours?
Mine is easy. Its picking up Abby from school. She is always so excited to see me and I am just as excited to see her. The 10 min in the car before my work days starts a new chapter is the best. It like we both have so much to say to each other I just love it.

I was a latch key kid while I was growing up. Even as a young child I always told myself I would do what I had to do to ensure my child would have a mom or a dad pick her up. So far I have picked her up except 3 times in two years ( Garth did one day and she went to a girlfriends house for the other two) Any way I pray every day, that the Lord blesses me with this. Its hard being a single mom! But with all moms we do what we can.

What is the best part of your day??

A gift to You

For me!! How sweet How did you know ?

Here's a fun blog game courtesy of Melis (from Jenny)
The first 3 people to respond to this post will get something made by me.My choice. Made especially for you.
Restrictions and Limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!2. What I create will be just for you.3. It will be done this year.4. You have no clue what it's going to be, because I don't even know what it's going to be!5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The Catch:
You must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who comment on your post and agree to do the same!
So get ready for your mystery treat but be prepared to share the love!
Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you get when you get it.

Vapers, Syncope, what she's 6

So for years I have let Abby see my medical books (excepts for sick children of ares of the body deemed "private") Any way there has never been a problem with body parts, organs or blood. It has always been par for the coarse around here. I really explain allot of things to her. She told her preschool teacher when ask "Were does food go? her sweet reply was "First through your esophagus than stomach and than to your intestines" OK so now fast forward

This Saturday she was with Garth and while there they do lot of fun things and unfortunately she comes back with minor scratch as bruises. It's just the nature of having a good time with Daddy. This time it was on her elbow, it's a dozy let me fast forward.

Today in Church it started to ooze and weep allot I tried to fix it with a borrowed baby wipe but it was not going to cut it. I started to take her to the kitchen for another band aid to add to the pile and she got light headed. We stayed in the chapel and gave her some candy I had in my purse. She was fine in a few min and I than took her to the kitchen, got the band aid returned to Sacrament..

Bad idea !! a few minuets later she got all clammy, pale and dizzy and told me she was "so sleepy" as she was leaning over. I picked her up and put her in my lap and blow on her face. She recovered fine. Still we needed to leave after a few more minuets on the way out to the car she was weaving back and forth she was "so sleepy" After about 10 min in bed reading books she was just fine. And "will never look at a boo boo again" poor thing oh the drama.

Note to self: She cannot watch any more medical shows with me!

Myspace and Facebook WHY ?

"MySpace: 90,000 sex offenders removed from site "

This is my opinion

This is why I can not get into the My space and Face book thing "NOW" (maybe later, but not now.) I just feel it's to open I now you only "let" or "invite" peeps in you know, but do you really know somebody that you had in English class in your High School days, or better yet grew up with and have not seen them for 20 years.

I realize "?" tainted the whole thing for me ! I know its not the site that let's someone be "unfaithful" or "creepy" or "Salkish" But I just can not get over it. How many people do it.I appreciate all the fun thing about it but come on. Tell me how reconnecting with someone you knew 20 years ago so "much fun" I just don't get it??

PS This is my blog my opinions Please do not feel the need to "educate me with your ideas on why it so much fun". I have a ream of paper of particular "messages" to tell you why its not for me or ANY one EVER in My HOME Now in 5 years I may do it and you can kindly through this back in my face lol

Love to all xoxo pleae still love me

Where's my bubbles!

OK I have been doing well on my New Year's "idea" It was to live a healthful life That includes the following
1) Eat better in return more energy, lose weight
2) Be a more present Mother ( I'm no longer living the " get through the day" I fell I'm over my crisis so to say If we ever really get over it?) Another time for that topic
3) Be supportive to my friends and family and take time to do little things for them.
4) Read to Abby
5) Something in Something out.. When you down size you realize you don't really need all that stuff we have

And lastly have a home with "improving" health. Such as as I need to purchase new things think Green, Organic and recyclable and as natural as I can. But there is a problem. The dish soap is not as good as my stand by Dawn I have try-ed Method from Target but 1) Not as bubbly 2) dose not work as well!

So I here asking for ideas on the products you all use.

PS:As some of you know I am ADDICTIVE to Clorox Bleach I will not give it up. But other ideas are welcome

A blast from the past & I'm going to pee

So my new buddy Stephanie,( may walking buddy.) just got linked up to my Blog and said she read some of my past post .. SO I thought I would read some to to see how far we have come.. Its late I'm tired and I'm going to pee I giggled so hard.

This is one of the best examples of me and Abby chit - chatting in the car. Keep in mind she dose not have a speech problem, it was a while back and she had never really heard the word with clear dictation I'm sure
Enjoy

September 4, 2007

The WHAT
Today as I pick up Abby from school
"Hi Mommy how was your day at school"?
"Oh it was a hard one today I was working with sick-o germs in the lab"
"Do your eyes hurt from the micrcooop"?
"NA, but the words are hard to say I need to learn some new big words"
"Mommy I want to go to the pup a weary"
"The WHAT"
"You know Mrs. H. is going to be there with all my friends"
"OK well I think we can look at the times and see, Abby what is that place Mommy doesn't know what you mean?"
"Mommy the pup a weary"
"Hunny did you get a note about it today?"
"Ya sure"She hands me several note with information on it
1) a School Pep Rally....... Ah yes this must be it! Well than I see
2) a Puppies show of some sort at the local park !!! Humm yes its clear now NOT
"Hunny I do not see it !!
I will call Mrs. H. and ask in the morning"
"Mommy all my friends will be there you know the ones in my class, the one with spike hair, the one with brownie skin, the one with all the long ponies and the boy who gets the naughty notes. All my friends"
"OK OK OK" ( ya right what on earth is she talking about)
"MOMMY MOMMY there that is were I want to go by the movie place, Look!!!!"
"You mean the public Library?"
"Ya the pup a weary.. they have books on puppies"
As it turns out it is our schools month at the local library and one night this month her class is going to try to meet up..... her little words got all tangled, much like mine do at school these days. As you all know spelling is not my strong point... well neither is saying the names of bacteria in a oral quiz. Never the less, we will be going to the pup a weary soon Have a good one...

Sometime I get a good Pic of Us together

I love this one of Us

Abby took this of me

How much fun is she !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN honor of me starting school I'm going to copyright from my friend Kelly who posted this, below I giggled so hard so I thought I would post it

Wish me luck for tomorrow my life ends for 5 months Good by! See you on the flip side.

You were raised in the 80's
(Or stuck in the 80's)
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.
2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton
3. You know that 'WOAH' comes from Joey on Blossom
4. If you ever watched 'Fraggle Rock'
5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
9. You played the game 'MASH'(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
11. You know the profound meaning of ' WAX ON , WAX OFF'
12. You wanted to be a Goonie.
13. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (Some of us...head-to-toe)
14. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off, his cheeks shifted and his nationality became questionable.
15. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
16. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.
17. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
18. You still get the urge to say 'NOT' after every sentence.
19. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
21. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
22. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying 'I know you are, but what am I?' 23. You remember 'I've fallen and I can't get up'
24. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in line skates.
25. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
26. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
27. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
28. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
29. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
30. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as 'NKOTB'
31. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on 'Saved By The Bell,' The ORIGINAL class.
32. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
33. You just sang those words to yourself.
34. You still sing 'We are the World'
35. You tight rolled or french cuffed your jeans. And still debate on which is the right term!
36. You owned a banana clip. Had several
37. You remember 'Where's the Beef?'
38. You used to (and probably still do) say 'What you talkin' 'bout Willis?'
39. You're still singing "Shot through the heart" in your head, aren't you!
40. When your 6 year old daughter wants to buy a CD with Christmas money you "encourage" her to get the 80's compilation CD at Target for 8.99. ( and open it in the car)